Oo ikaw.!.ikaw nga!

sabi mo hey sabi ko ho.yeah. we be hooing together forever. you dont make sense but i can sense you. haha laugh ka para happy. wag ka cry baka mautot ka. kain ka lupa para mayaman tayo.May lupa tayo.kain ako pako tabla dos por dos hardiplex para may bahay lupa tayo.joint account. yihee. we rich kids. no we rich couple. 2 become 1.math kaya mo?wag na baka nose bleed ka. emo. NO? weak No?

wohowhowhowhow yowww break a leg break it down. rock star we punk star yeah. hahahaw wawwaw

dizizit bobom bom bom ligo ka ligo ko.ligo tayo together. e wag na hirap kis kis libag. Kiss nlng tau. sabay hug. woohow what next? you may never know. I dont kniow..do you? smart ka smart ako. wohow. Blogger shit. tibz nigga fo shizzles.

Thanks to BV sobrang inspired ako gumawa ng list.
kaya lang 5 bad Vibes per day lang kaya ko itake baka magcollap ako.

1. Nag aral ako super aral sa Political Dynamics. Nakaidlip ako edi hindi ko rin napasukan ung POLDY. Its so great. Woohoo.

2. May nakita akong taxi nahulog ang gulong sa manhole. BAD VIBES.

3. Nakita ko ang mortal enemy ko. FOOTa.

4. Nasaksihan ko nagaaway friend ko nd girlfriend.

5. I heard gun shots. Assuming someone got killed. CHAOS.

NO BAD VIBES tommorrow please.

Ang boring, pinapasaya ko lang sarili ko. Inabanduna na ko ng mga tao at ding ding at mga gamit nalang kausap ko. Hindi pwede matulog kailangan magaral. Wala, wala lang talaga. Halo Halo. Tinola. Sweet Corn. Hindi kita maintindihan. Selfish ka alam ko. Ako din. Wag ka Mag alala. Bukas may bago umaga. Sabay Tayo.Hindi mauna kana. O kung mapilit ka sunduin mo ko. Agahan mo baka nakaalis na ko. Hindi na ko babalik. Iiwan na kita. Dun. Dun ako pupunta. Malayo sayo. Ikaw. Ikaw na boring at antukin. Pero papaphotocopy ko muka. Dadalhin ko. Para OK. Scramble egg.

“I miss the barkada. Kumukonti na ba talaga ung time nating magkita kita kasi dalawa na may trabaho at dahil tumatanda na tayo at kailangan na nating maging responsable sa sarili natin at magwork. Nakakalungkot but kailangan maging realistic at matutunang tanggapin na may mga bagay talaga na kahit anong effort mong imaintain e magbabago talaga.share lang. Napaisip lng ako.Nyt.”

I told myself like a million times not to be in love with you but it seems to be a million times harder that what it seems to be. Like you told me nothing is impossible, I tried to believe that and reminded myself every now and then it comes to me to tell you first how I feel. But it just proves to me that impossible is possible. It is impossible not to fall for you. There’s this love bug inside of me that I’ve been keeping for sometime now. I couldn’t possible get rid off. I’ve waited long enough for us to get along and eventually be friends, sharing whatever it is that we find amusing enough to share with each other. In laughter, I conceled whatever it is I have inside of me that goes being “more that friends”. I wanted you to buy me that book but I couldn’t tell you so, cause you might actually get my point. You’re smart enough in almost everything but in people’s feelings, you’re bad, bad enough not to know you’re someone else for me. But at least you are sensitive enough to make me stay since the “sweet november”. I don’t wanna lose you this time around. I already lose you when you thought of me as some crappy-push-over. I don’t care how long will it take for us to be in some state. I wanted you to know you are not just some random. I am changing for you, for us not to lose what we have right now which is already extra special for me, though, JUST FRIENDS.

It was near sunset, still on the rush, still had things to settle. The smell of alcohol still lingers on me. I came back, he was still there maybe for a thought would be/was waiting for me? No talks, just a hundred smiles. I started on not being me. I start to talk, well for that moment would be just plain dirty shit. Intoxicated as I am, with a pen and a paper wrote notes like a grader or even worse. He, trying to help, finished my notes with a word or two. He, still wondering. Home at last. The following days were as miserable as it is, that I couldn’t even imagine would have happen. Nothing is impossible. Addidas.

It’s been a while since I started this blog. I don’t know what had come to my senses that I decided to have this, adding up to the 5 other blogs that i have started, having five to ten entries and after that forgot that I had, i mean have it. I thought I could update this everyday but I couldn’t. I thought I could be one hell of a blogger, but I couldn’t, I wasn’t, at all. I thought I could write but I couldn’t. I’m not a writer and I was never born to be one. I was trying so hard to be a writer. But I guess things just didn’t go my way even from the start, but I was neglecting it. I was not even accepted to the university where I applied and having creative writing as my course. It was not my calling.What do I want to be? What am I suppose to be? What should I be?WHAT DO I WANT?

I had all the choices in the world, but I still don’t know what I’m good at. I didn’t know the things I am good at. I can’t even finish anything that I started. I was a walking dead man.

I’ve been into classes where they talk about reasons for existence, what a being is and all the things about it and what makes it as it is, but I ended up all grossed up by all the things about the purpose of life that in one way or the other I had to live by. What is the purpose of my existence? Why am I here? Why do I such  things? How come other people are great, I mean, why do some people are called great men? Why do I ask these questions? Am i just insecure? Or am I just one-hell-of-a-lame-ass-loser who doesn’t know what he/she is?

What if I was moth? maybe I woudn’t last a decade or even a week. What if I was bird? maybe one day someone would just shoot me while I was having the very best day of my life flying across the sea. What if I was something else that is not what I am right now? not a human being. What would have happen to me? Would I still have the luxury of spending 17 years of my life?

All the things I have right now, I didn’t ask for it, nor did I wish and hope for it. I didn’t want any of this. I don’t find relevance on everything that I have right now. Am I starting to be negative? Or am I starting to have little-ego-boosting-whatever now? Could this be just a phase in my life where I start to think too much of myself and start to forget that I had more than enough to see each and every wonderful things in my life?

When will I grow up? When will I start to see things more than what I see it is? Do I need someone to help me realize those things? Or am I just enough to pick myself up? Isn’t just everything a game I had to be in forever? then if it is a game, I am not hating it, I hate the player.

Oh, when will I ever get tired of asking myself’; when, why, what, where, and how?