Teamwork

PUTA.

“ok teamwork tayo team ha.walang mag encns(no call no show).Be positive tayo. Hangang 9 lang ako tonight.”

“Team Building tayo sa October. Prepare yourSELFS.”<====wahaha putangina ang galing uminglis

“tangina feeling team leader sya, hindi naman sya TEAM LEADER talaga.”

“wag ka sasama sa kanila, bata kapa malalason lang utak mo sa kanila.tsaka ang hilig nila manira, lahat ng newbie dito sinasabihan nila na wag sasama samin”<=====look who’s talking

“ncns(no call no show) ka kahapon ah, termd k na daw.”<====epal di naman ako tanggal

======>CGE mag team work tayo. Grabe I can feel the spirit.YEah Wooh GO TEAM. FTW!

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Message to a friend

“I miss the barkada. Kumukonti na ba talaga ung time nating magkita kita kasi dalawa na may trabaho at dahil tumatanda na tayo at kailangan na nating maging responsable sa sarili natin at magwork. Nakakalungkot but kailangan maging realistic at matutunang tanggapin na may mga bagay talaga na kahit anong effort mong imaintain e magbabago talaga.share lang. Napaisip lng ako.Nyt.”

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Late: Thanksgiving ’08 – Thursday

I told myself like a million times not to be in love with you but it seems to be a million times harder that what it seems to be. Like you told me nothing is impossible, I tried to believe that and reminded myself every now and then it comes to me to tell you first how I feel. But it just proves to me that impossible is possible. It is impossible not to fall for you. There’s this love bug inside of me that I’ve been keeping for sometime now. I couldn’t possible get rid off. I’ve waited long enough for us to get along and eventually be friends, sharing whatever it is that we find amusing enough to share with each other. In laughter, I conceled whatever it is I have inside of me that goes being “more that friends”. I wanted you to buy me that book but I couldn’t tell you so, cause you might actually get my point. You’re smart enough in almost everything but in people’s feelings, you’re bad, bad enough not to know you’re someone else for me. But at least you are sensitive enough to make me stay since the “sweet november”. I don’t wanna lose you this time around. I already lose you when you thought of me as some crappy-push-over. I don’t care how long will it take for us to be in some state. I wanted you to know you are not just some random. I am changing for you, for us not to lose what we have right now which is already extra special for me, though, JUST FRIENDS.

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Panda

It was near sunset, still on the rush, still had things to settle. The smell of alcohol still lingers on me. I came back, he was still there maybe for a thought would be/was waiting for me? No talks, just a hundred smiles. I started on not being me. I start to talk, well for that moment would be just plain dirty shit. Intoxicated as I am, with a pen and a paper wrote notes like a grader or even worse. He, trying to help, finished my notes with a word or two. He, still wondering. Home at last. The following days were as miserable as it is, that I couldn’t even imagine would have happen. Nothing is impossible. Addidas.

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Tired

It’s been a while since I started this blog. I don’t know what had come to my senses that I decided to have this, adding up to the 5 other blogs that i have started, having five to ten entries and after that forgot that I had, i mean have it. I thought I could update this everyday but I couldn’t. I thought I could be one hell of a blogger, but I couldn’t, I wasn’t, at all. I thought I could write but I couldn’t. I’m not a writer and I was never born to be one. I was trying so hard to be a writer. But I guess things just didn’t go my way even from the start, but I was neglecting it. I was not even accepted to the university where I applied and having creative writing as my course. It was not my calling.What do I want to be? What am I suppose to be? What should I be?WHAT DO I WANT?

I had all the choices in the world, but I still don’t know what I’m good at. I didn’t know the things I am good at. I can’t even finish anything that I started. I was a walking dead man.

I’ve been into classes where they talk about reasons for existence, what a being is and all the things about it and what makes it as it is, but I ended up all grossed up by all the things about the purpose of life that in one way or the other I had to live by. What is the purpose of my existence? Why am I here? Why do I such  things? How come other people are great, I mean, why do some people are called great men? Why do I ask these questions? Am i just insecure? Or am I just one-hell-of-a-lame-ass-loser who doesn’t know what he/she is?

What if I was moth? maybe I woudn’t last a decade or even a week. What if I was bird? maybe one day someone would just shoot me while I was having the very best day of my life flying across the sea. What if I was something else that is not what I am right now? not a human being. What would have happen to me? Would I still have the luxury of spending 17 years of my life?

All the things I have right now, I didn’t ask for it, nor did I wish and hope for it. I didn’t want any of this. I don’t find relevance on everything that I have right now. Am I starting to be negative? Or am I starting to have little-ego-boosting-whatever now? Could this be just a phase in my life where I start to think too much of myself and start to forget that I had more than enough to see each and every wonderful things in my life?

When will I grow up? When will I start to see things more than what I see it is? Do I need someone to help me realize those things? Or am I just enough to pick myself up? Isn’t just everything a game I had to be in forever? then if it is a game, I am not hating it, I hate the player.

Oh, when will I ever get tired of asking myself’; when, why, what, where, and how?

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Friend ka ba?

Buong buhay ko ngayon lang ako nakakita ng grupo ng mga kaibigan na hindi ko makukumpare sa dati kong mga kaibigan. Isang gropung may iba’t ibang clase ng tao na nagkakasundo kahit ano pa man ang desisyon ng isa’t isa sa buhay nila. Kanya-kanyang trip at kanya-kanyang mga pangarap. Ngunit isa lang ang importante sa kanila ang magkakasama kahit anong oras kahit ano pa man ang dapat gawin kahit mag cut ng class ok lang basta hindi lng mawalan ng kasama kahit isa. Hanep na samahan ng pinatibay na ng panahon, walang katulad.

Hindi ko naiisip ang sarili ko mapabilang sa grupo nila kahit noon pa dahil nga sa hindi ko sila kakclase o kahit ka-building man lang. Ngunit dahil sa hindi inaasahang pangyayari sa buhay ko na bumasag sa aking pagkatao, nakilala ko sila ng lubusan.

Tandang -tanda ko pa ang araw na iyon ala sais ng umaga, bilangan noon ng boto ng election sa unibersidad at wala pang tulog ang mga tao sa eskwelahan. Buong gabi akong nasa labas ng bahay at kung ano ano ang ginagawa para lang lumipas ang oras at hindi ito masayang. Ngunit dahil sa paghahanap ko ng ligaya na akala ko ay kukumpleto na sana ng aking pagkatao, nasaktan lang ako at nabigo. Naiwan nanamang magisa, luhaan, at di mapakinabangan.

Lumapit ako sa isang kaibigan na myembro ng grupong iyon dahil alam kong nangyari na sa kanya ang ganoong bagay na sumira din sa samahan nila ng iba nyang kaibigan sa kanyang kabataan at alam nya kung ano ang maipapayo nya sakin at maiintindihan nya kung ano pa man ang nararamdaman ko. At hindi nga nya ako binigo.

Sa araw ding iyon, wala pa akong tulog, niyaya nila akong makipagkita kay RH at DH, ang mga bagay na kahit simple lang ay lubos ng kumukumpleto sa mga araw nila. Kung tinuturing ko ang sarili ko na mababaw lang na tao, may mas pa pala saakin at natutuwa ako dahil hindi na ako nagiisa na hindi minsan naiintindihan ng aking mga kaibigan sa colehiyo dahil hindi ako madaling maapektuhan ng mga bagay na inaakala nilang masyado ng madrama.

Simula nga ng panahon na iyon ay kasama na ako sa kanilang mga tinatahak sa buhay. Madali akong pilitin sa mga bagay na kung minsan ay hindi ko talaga gusto pero dahil sa alam kong magiging masaya din naman ako ok na para sa akin. Nagkasundo kami at tumagal na ng ilang buwan. Tumibay lalo ang samahan at sa pagkakataong ito ay kasama na ko. Isang batang maliit ngunit mataas ang mga pangarap.

Simple lang akong tao, kahit nagkukulang minsan sa aking pag aaral ay hindi naman nagkukulang sa aking mga kaibigan. Friend ako. Ikaw? Friend ka ba? o Friend ka nga bang talaga?

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BOBO ni BOBA

Ngayon ko lang na-realize na ang bobo ko pala. May mag bagay na kung tutuusin naman ay napakadaling intindihin pero ako hindi ko maintindihan. Wala namang masyadong dahilan para mag self pity ako ng ganito. Tatlong linggo na akong umiinom araw-araw at hindi parin nawawala ang depression na nararamndaman ko.

Kulang pa ba ang mga kaibigan akong handang tulungan ako?
o kulang lang talaga ang kakayanan ng utak ko para ma-realize na may mga kaibigan akong handang umintindi sakin?

Na-tick off lang naman ako na mas lalong marealize na ambobo ko dahil sa result ng online quiz ko sa Economics. 8 out of 20 points lang ang nakuha ako at partida may hawak pa akong module nun. Nagsisisi ako dahil puro cheating at kawalang hiyaan lang ang nasa isip ng mga oras na yun. E kung nagaral nalang sana ako bago ako nag quiz.  At ang pinaka nakakainis pa, pagkatapos ko mag quiz narealize ko ang dali naman pala nung quiz pero bakit ganun lang nakuha ko.

May mga bagay talaga dito sa mundo na sa unang tingin mo kala mo ang dali-dali lang pero kung titignan mo ng mabuti ay mahirap.

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